A Case Of Selective Obliviousness
by garlic
Summary: All of Arendelle is eagerly awaiting the royal wedding, except, apparently, the two actually being married. Wait, what? Elsa and Anna are completely blindsided by some very unusual expectations and their own feelings. [Elsanna, Icest, Fluff]
1. First Comes Love

Title: A Case Of Selective Obliviousness

By: garlic

Disclaimer: Frozen and all affiliated characters property of Disney.

Summary: In which an act of True Love is traditionally followed by marriage, no matter how much Elsa refuses to believe that things like this just aren't _done._

AN: So of course after years (cough-overadecadeyouass) of inactivity, the thing that brings me back is incestuous lesbian Disney sisters. So TW for Elsanna/icest - don't like, don't read - if you continue on and are offended, I can't help that you're a moron. Anyways, I was drowning in the angst that is the Elsanna fandom, and I just really wanted some light-hearted comedy where our protagonists are cute oblivious idiots in love and everyone knows it, and this idea wouldn't just get out of my head. I'm also pretty sure my writing is actually worse than it used to be, so apologies.

Edit: New cover art by lovely Chinese artist 3000, via the wonderful hgsmcsb who translated this work and shared it with the fantastic folks over at Yamibo forums.

* * *

"Marriage?!"

"Yes, your majesty."

"Mine."

"Yes."

"And Anna's."

"Correct."

"To each other."

"Just so."

Elsa glared in bewilderment, but suspected her expression lost quite a bit of menace with the blush she could feel heating her cheeks.

"We are _sisters._"

The entire council room seemed to shrug.

"Apparently True Love trumps that."

Elsa could practically hear the capital letters. "It would be a scandal!"

"Actually, in the court of popular opinion, it's more scandalous that you two aren't married already."

"What? How?!" Elsa could safely say she was completely and utterly flummoxed.

"An unwed couple cohabiting-"

"We are the Queen and Princess, we are supposed to live in the castle!"

"-sharing a bed-"

"We do not share a bed!"

"-a fact which Princess Anna has cheerfully and publicly announced in the town square a few weeks past-"

Elsa abandoned decorum and buried her face in her hands. _Oh, Anna. _"It was a sleepover! We are trying to reconnect. As siblings!" She felt compelled to add again.

"-and on the topic of the Princess, the older generations find it unseemly that she goes gallivanting around unescorted with a strange man-"

"Kristoff is a good friend! And Sven is always with them!"

"-unattached as she is-"

"So it would be okay to go gallivanting around town with men as long as she were married?"

"-and quite frankly, a royal wedding would do much to liven the spirits of Arendelle." As the head of the Council concluded, several other members nodded their heads in the affirmative, a murmur of agreement buzzing amongst them.

"Plus, people are starting to talk about the delay. They think you're getting cold feet."

Elsa stared. The room hushed. A few long, agonizing seconds silently passed. A crow cawed in the distance.

The councillor cleared his throat, finally looking a bit embarrassed, an expression the Queen thought was quite frankly overdue. "...Yes, they are purposely using that phrase. Puns are making a comeback."

Elsa sighed, feeling very much like she was going to lose this particular argument. "I still find it hard to believe the _entire kingdom_ is cheering for me to wed another woman, much less my sister."

"Well naturally there are a few dissenters, but even those you'd think would raise a fuss were quite tolerant about it. There were surveys."

* * *

Down by the docks:

"Well, any bloke's that keeping her royal-ness from turning the fjords into a glorified ice rink's a bloke what deserves the job, and if that bloke jes' happens to be her sister, well, what's another bloke to protest? The queen ain't gonna melt fer _me._"

At the playground:

"It's True Love! They haveta get married! If they don't there won't be a happily ever after! And if there's no happily ever after there'll be no more parties! And if there are no more parties there'll be no more cake! And if there's no more cake _we'll DIE._"

At the local country club:

"Indeed, this is all quite unconventional, but Royalty always had that touch of strangeness. And now we don't have any worries of some upstart rapscallion foreigner barging his way onto the throne. It wouldn't do to have any more 'Prince Hans' showing up, for they're certainly out there. Yes, the Queen and Princess will protect each other and the royal throne from such dastardly kingdom grabbers."

At the Church of Arendelle:

"There is no argument to be made of True Love. That is all that matters."

The Valley of the Living Rock:

"Well that explains why she was holding back from such a man!"

* * *

Elsa gaped in the most undignified manner. She wasn't sure what was more surprising. The fact that the citizens of Arendelle expected her to marry her sister or that an entire faction of her government had apparently conducted some very thorough research on the matter of her marrying her sister all while she was blissfully unaware.

"Plus, everyone seems to be in agreement that you two look very cute together."

She let her head fall back into her hands, and barely stifled a piteous moan.

* * *

Elsa was beginning to regret confiding in a snowman. No matter how much she adored him.

Olaf blinked innocently up at her. "You mean you aren't married? Ooooo, can I be the best man? Or would it be the maid of honor? Oh, can Marshmallow come?"

Elsa couldn't help the small smile that crept across her lips at Olaf's enthusiasm. "I don't think there will be a wedding, Olaf." She winced internally as the snowman's cheery expression fell away.

"But why not? Don't you and Anna Love each other?"

There it was again, that capital "L." Elsa wondered if in her years of isolation she had become so emotionally and socially stunted that she had completely skipped the lesson everybody else seemed to have learned about "Love." She knew what love was, surely. In no uncertain terms she knew she loved Anna with all her heart. Just as when they were children. Right? Elsa glanced back at Olaf's expectant look, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth.

"I do love Anna, wholly." Elsa reassured him, feeling dread and warmth swirl low in her belly. _I'm just not sure how, anymore._

Olaf brightened once more. "Well that's good! Because Anna definitely loves you! It was so romantic, even though it wasn't a kiss."

Elsa startled. "Kiss? What are talking about, Olaf?"

The snowman waved his arms akimbo, excited to be imparting knowledge. "An act of True Love! The Love Experts-" Elsa blinked in bewilderment, _Love Experts? Who on Earth?_ "-said that True Love's kiss would thaw a frozen heart, but I guess True Love's sacrifice worked too. Ooh, maybe you guys should kiss just to make sure."

_Kiss?_ Elsa raised the tips of her fingers to the side of her mouth, just shy of her cheek as unbidden, the image of Anna flashed through her mind. Anna, playfully spinning in the impromptu snow flurry she had conjured for her not a week ago. Anna, happy and laughing and so so _pretty_ against the pale winter backdrop. Anna, skin rosy and flush from the cold, tackling her to a snowdrift and pinning her triumphantly, copper hair mussed and glittering with snowflakes, breath puffing warm and white, soft clouds against her cheek. Anna, achingly beautiful and joyful and _alive_, leaning down and tenderly pressing her lips to the corner of Elsa's mouth, setting embers of heat aglow under the natural coolness of her skin. Elsa blushed, letting her fingers drift to her lips. _What would it feel like to have that kiss here?_ Elsa thought she might just burst into flames.

As Olaf chattered on obliviously before her, Elsa was helpless to the whirlwind of emotions the snowman had unintentionally set off. When had her heart decided to drum this erratic beat just for Anna? When had her head followed suit? When did it start that her eyes constantly sought out her sister, lingering over her slim, athletic figure, the vibrant corona of her hair? When did she become so entranced by the shifting sea hues of her eyes, the starry constellation of her freckles? When did her body begin this traitorous tingle at the mere _thought_ of Anna, her skin prickling hot and sensitive with a mere touch? Her magic whispered knowingly to her, as always more in tune with her true emotions than her own mind. _When had she fallen in love?_

* * *

"Congratulations on your engagement, Your Majesty!"

"We look forward to the wedding!"

"You make sure Queen Elsa takes time from her duties to pay you proper attention, you hear? Tell 'er happy wife, happy life!"

Anna cheerfully waved back at the group of pedestrians they passed. "Thank you, you're too kind-wait, _what?_" Her head rubbernecked at an alarming speed, the motion jerking her body sideways into Kristoff. "Whose wife?!"

Kristoff chuckled, cupping his large hands about slim shoulders to steady the young woman. "Whoa there, feisty pants. What's the problem?"

Anna raised an eyebrow incredulously. "Did you hear those guys? They said Elsa has a wife!"

"No, they said _you_ were Elsa's wife." Anna's eyes rounded. "Actually, they said you were _going_ to be Elsa's wife." Anna's left eye twitched. "And they congratulated you." Anna's mouth flopped open wordlessly.

Another group sailed gaily down the street, calling out variations of "Can't wait's" and "So thrilled for you's" and even one sly wink from a grinning noblewoman. It was enough to snap the redhead out of her temporary stupor.

"I think you're missing the point, Kristoff! And _why am I the wife?_" Anna hush-screeched at her friend.

Kristoff was beginning to think that Anna really had no idea what was going on. But how on Earth could she not? Pretty much all of Arendelle had been talking about this for _months._ It would take a truly oblivious idio-_Ah,_ Kristoff thought, _I see the problem. _Now, how to gently ease her into this?

"Well, everybody has assumed that you and Elsa are engaged to be married." _Okay, that may have been a little blunt. _"It's sort of common knowledge." _Okay, that wasn't much better._ "The entire kingdom is sort of waiting for you guys to publicly announce the wedding date." _God, I'm so bad at this. _By his side, Sven rolled his eyes in agreement.

Anna gaped at Kristoff. "You knew about all of this? Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

Kristoff scratched his head a bit sheepishly. "Well, I kind of thought you already knew. I mean, it made sense, True Love and all that. Not to mention, that one time at the clothing shop when you picked out lingerie for Elsa."

"It was a gift!"

"You bought yourself a matching pair."

"I really liked the design!"

"When the saleslady winked and asked you what the special occasion was you told her it was your one month anniversary with Elsa."

"It was! Of our reconciliation! You know, of when I thawed! Gosh, I had no idea she was implying something _else!_"

Kristoff grinned at the bright red glow radiating from the petite girl in from of him. "Well, you certainly made her day. She was the belle of the town gossip ball." Anna groaned and covered her eyes in embarrassment. He really shouldn't tease her like this, but flustered Anna was just so adorable.

Anna let out a small whine. "Oh no, it all makes so much sense now. All those questions about whether Elsa preferred to unwrap her gifts slowly from intricate layers or a quick reveal with the simple tug of a bow..." Kristoff could barely hold back the guffaw threatening to bust his gut. "...And all that leering..." Kristoff's stomach was starting to hurt. "...And oh, oh-Oh MY GOD! Kristoff! When she asked me if I needed any 'accessories' I told her Elsa preferred to make her own! Y'know, out of ice! I thought she was talking about jewelry! What was she really saying?! WHAT?!"

Kristoff lost it.

"KRISTOFF!"

* * *

Anna stormed down the castle halls in a huff, doling out some serious side-eye to anyone she passed. _Were they all in on this?_ I mean yeah, maybe lingerie wasn't really the most _sisterly_ gift to give, but - if her ice gowns were any indication - Elsa seemed to like that little bit of rebellion showing some skin stated. Plus Elsa was still a bit reserved and shy when it came actual physical touch, and Anna figured feeling sexy might boost her confidence a bit. And so what if she put in a lot of effort trying to find the perfect design, Elsa deserved the best; something that would accentuate the long, sinuous curve of her body, the flare of womanly hips. Something that highlighted her flawless moon-kissed skin, complimented the piercing ice blue of her eyes and the seductive flair of her tossed platinum tresses...oh. Wait. Anna came to a screeching halt. "What?" Anna's jaw dropped. "Oh. _Oh._" Anna blinked, turned, and started banging her head against the nearest wall. She was _such_ an idiot.

* * *

Never let it be said that once Anna decided on a something, she was hesitant to act. It had been a full day since her rather eye-opening revelation of her less than (or perhaps more than) sisterly affections, and after a short panic attack which resulted in several torn rugs, a broken vase, an aching bump on the head, a missing plate of gourmet chocolates from the kitchen and a long rambling one-sided conversation with Joan, Anna was determined to approach Elsa about her feelings. And their engagement. Unfortunately, Elsa was making things a bit difficult by avoiding her at every opportunity (that stinker).

So Anna recruited Kai and Gerda, who both gave her knowing looks which made her redden in embarrassment (darnit, _everybody_ knew), and Anna had Elsa's schedule diverting her to an empty study where Anna would ambush-er, wait for her.

And she waited. And waited. She paced anxiously along the wall of books, running a hand along their spines, chewing her lip and trying not to psych herself out.

"You got this, Anna. It's Elsa, it's True Love!" Anna muttered. "And something the entire kingdom has already decided has happened." Anna paused to roll her eyes at this, still not sure who she was exasperated with most, herself or her people. To her right the clock chimed, and with narrowed eyes fixated at the closed door, she decided to be exasperated most with Elsa, who was _late._

She was headed to the doorway to take a peek out into the hall when the door swung open swiftly, and Elsa - no, the Queen - strode in. "Captain. Let's make this quick, I- Anna!" Elsa jumped in surprise, the barest hint of snow bursting in a cold flurry above them before she wrestled her magic back under control. "What are you doing here? Where is Captain Landvik?" The study was conspicuously empty of the Head of the Guard; Anna stood nervously in front of her, body language trepid, but eyes full of determined fire. Elsa gulped, recalled Kai informing her of a last minute meeting that absolutely must take place in a secluded wing of the castle posthaste, and concluded she had been handily set up indeed.

Anna's heart hammered a fast staccato, surprise freezing her in place. Elsa's sudden presence seemed to drain all the bravado out of her. Elsa was otherworldly - regal and kind and intelligent and lovely and so unbearably gorgeous, and Anna felt every inch of her plainness in comparison. _Why would someone like Elsa want someone like me?_

The silence was growing heavy and stifling, and Anna was ready to just throw in the towel and call this whole thing a wash when movement caught her attention. Elsa was fidgeting. Anna's eyes widened in comprehension. With all of Elsa's noble bearing, her command over ice and snow, it was easy to forget that underneath it all was her sister - timid, emotionally clumsy, earnestly hard-working _Elsa._ With cheeks dusted a light rose, hands tangled pensively at her abdomen, just as unsure and lost as Anna herself. Affection bloomed bright and hard in her chest, and she rocked forward, stepping in closer the other woman. She shyly scuffed her boot. "Sooo, apparently we're supposed to be getting married?"

Elsa blushed heavily, fingers fiddling nervously with the ends of her braid, eyes flitting from wall to ceiling to floor, unable to bring her gaze to meet her sister's. "I'm sorry, Anna. It's just a misunderstanding. I'll get everything cleared up." Elsa tried to keep the melancholy off her face at that thought, silently chastising herself for already missing her fake, non-existent engagement to her not-lover.

Anna edged closer, tilting her head up to try and peer into Elsa's eyes. She could feel her heart beginning to thrum a fast beat - true love true love truelove truelovetruelove_lovelovelove..._Anna steeled herself, took a deep breath. Let her hopes and dreams and desires whisper out.

"But, is there really anything to clear up?"

Elsa could feel her blood arrest in her veins, breath caught in her throat as her magic seemed to still in suspense. The air cooled, and her eyes snapped up to meet Anna's (so, _so close_). Was it possible? Did she hear correctly?

She licked her lips, catching the way Anna's eyes flickered down to watch, the way those blue orbs seemed to darken to teal, the warm pink blush overtaking the smattering of freckles across the bridge of her nose. Her magic hummed at their closeness - this was someone who truly loved her, someone she truly loved, and it responded with glee as Anna's hand boldly came up to settle softly at her cheek, thumb brushing lightly along curve of her cheekbone, and in the back of her mind Elsa somewhat deliriously noted that even her fickle, tempestuous magic approved of them together.

Their heads slid ever closer, eyes locked to each other's, and Elsa could feel the last vestiges of self-restraint fall away as their lips met softly, and her eyes slipped shut as her world was swept away in a flurry of sensations and _Anna, Anna, Anna._

Anna felt arms slide around around her coming to a rest at her hips, and then she was engulfed in the faint sweet scent of honeysuckle and pine. Elsa smelled like winter, clean and cold and crisp, invigorating and intoxicating. Anna whimpered, rising up onto her toes to press harder into the kiss. Elsa's lips were soft and cool and pliant against hers, and she couldn't resist trying for more, swiping her tongue across the pad of Elsa's lower lip, moaning in delight when they parted for her. Kissing Elsa ignited a spark within her, spreading outwards from her heart and racing through her limbs to every reach of her being, eerily reminiscent of the warmth of her thaw. _True love!_ She exulted, and felt herself burn so much hotter to know it was reciprocated.

They parted gently, twin blushes decorating their cheeks, hearts racing. Anna slipped her fingers into the soft hair at the nape of Elsa's neck, enjoying the feel of cool silken strands, and absolutely reveled in the tiny shiver that passed through her sister's frame and the way her hands unconsciously clenched at her waist. Anna smiled coyly, draping her other arm about Elsa's hip, massaging daring fingertips to the small of her back. "So...about this engagement..."

Elsa blushed darker, lips still tingling. Blood and magic rushed fervently through her veins, a cacophony of want and satisfaction and possession and overwhelming _love_. Anna's hands were bright pinpoints of heat and sensation that melted through her skin, her magic, her very will, and Elsa was struck with the singular clarity that Anna had her elder sister wrapped quite neatly around her fingers.

"Olaf thinks it should be summer wedding."

Anna hummed in approval. "On our one year anniversary." She leaned in, affectionately resting their foreheads gently together, content in that moment to bask in the look of love in her sister's eyes.

Elsa smiled, nuzzling closer. "Anniversary?" She queried.

"Of our Act of True Love."

"Ah." Elsa chuckled. "Even though it wasn't a kiss."

Anna pulled back slightly, brow arched playfully. "Oh? Were you going to kiss me back then?" She leaned up, dipping a gentle kiss to the line of Elsa's jaw, grinning at the hard swallow that induced, then nipped at that perfect, pale skin again, emboldened. She practically purred. "Melt me?"

Elsa trembled under Anna's attentions, her magic swelled and surged against her skin, begging to be let out in a show of joy and elation. "Olaf may have mentioned something about missing out on True Love's kiss."

Anna smirked. "That Olaf, full of great ideas."

Elsa bent back down to catch Anna in brief kiss. "I'll be sure to tell him he can be the best man then," she murmured, "but until then, I think I owe my fiancee a few more acts of True Love."

Anna couldn't agree more.

_Fin._


	2. Then Comes Marriage

Title: A Case Of Selective Obliviousness: Then Comes Marriage

By: garlic

Disclaimer: Frozen and affiliated property of Disney

Summary: In which there is a wedding, a room full of questionable guests, and a smitten couple. Here's to the the newlyweds!

AN: Okay, I caved. I had thought that this was done, but a few suggestions had sparked some more ideas, so I've decided to try and extend this to a 3-fer (because the comedy rule of 3!). This is also much more fluffy than it is comedic, because apparently I used up all my good jokes already. Oops. I feel I should also warn that I am a slow, sporadic writer, so don't get your hopes up for quick and timely updates. TWs remain the same: Elsanna/Icest.

* * *

It was a summer wedding.

Both Olaf (Elsa's best man) and Marshmallow (ring bearer) were in attendance, which was extraordinarily entertaining for the citizens of Arendelle to witness the various baffled and alarmed reactions from visiting foreign dignitaries. Of course, bewilderment seemed to be their general mien towards the entire affair.

* * *

"_They're getting married?"_

"_Indeed."_

"_To each other?"_

"_Correct."_

"_But they are sisters?"_

"_Apparently it is a case of True Love."_

"_I...see."_

* * *

The courtyard was abloom with a profusion of flowers and ice. Despite the warmth of the summer day Elsa had fabricated tall intricate icy lattices which extended high over the entirety of the open space, and were decorated with fragrant crocus and honeysuckle. The structure also cooled the air slightly, creating refreshingly aromatic and chilled breezes whenever the wind passed through - much to the delight of all attending.

The crowd was buzzing in anticipation. This wedding had been a long time coming according to the natives _("why, her father courted her mother for quite a while too, a chip off the ol' ice block, isn't she!")_ and the foreigners, mildly confused as they were, were at least taken in by the novelty of it all.

* * *

"_Sisters! Imagine that!"_

"_Well, back in the day it was a pretty common thing, wasn't it?"_

"_And one of them can even summon up a winter storm!"_

"_Oh, more than that, she can freeze an entire fjord! I was there."_

"_Well I'll be, isn't that something!"_

"_So there _are_ abominable snowmen roaming about?"_

"_Abominable? The one I recall seemed quite small and harmless."_

"_Yes, the little one, I've seen him about. Came right over and gave my wife a hug. Told us he helped the Queen and the Princess realize their True Love."_

"_It's always back to 'True Love,' isn't it?"_

"_Well, they are awfully cute together."_

* * *

"Ahem! Everyone, we will be starting shortly, so if you could all find your seats." Kai waited at the front of the altar until the guests shuffled to their spots, the butler practically bursting with pride. He nodded to Gerda in the wings, who smiled and hurried off behind the scenes. It was finally time!

A hush fell over the courtyard as Elsa appeared under the large ornate arch that preceded the aisle. The crowd hastened to it's feet, and the Queen of Arendelle took her first steps towards the altar. It was actually quite lonely, and in that moment Elsa regretted not asking Kai to walk her down the aisle and instead insisting he remain with Gerda to oversee the rest of the wedding. The minister waited for her at the altar, smiling encouragingly, and Elsa raised her head high. Today was hers and Anna's, and perhaps it was fitting she walk this aisle alone at the beginning, because she would not leave it so. It bore a soothing symmetry - because wasn't it just a year ago Anna had saved her from her life of isolation?

She reached the altar steps and mounted them with a flourish, mantle swirling behind her as she dipped her head in respect to the minister. She then turned to give another silent nod to Gerda, who rather pensively eyed the figure hidden off to the side. The head maid hesitantly waved her hand, motioning for the next in line to start down the aisle.

The ground shook. The temperature seemed to drop several degrees. A low growl echoed through the air. The reseated guests shifted nervously, murmurs breaking out. The arch trembled, and a shadow loomed menacingly out onto the aisle. Everyone collectively held their breaths, perched at the ends of their chairs in preparation to flee and-

"Hi everybody!" Olaf slid out dramatically, arms raised high in the air, a wide open grin on his face.

In the corner, a man startled so hard he dropped off his chair with a thud. Everyone else let a out collective breath, relieved smiles and soft laughter pattering the group as the little tux clad snowman bounced happily to his place at the side of the altar after giving an amused Elsa a warm hug.

_Well, isn't that just adorable._ In the back rows the Duchess of Besvime smiled indulgently, turning back to the aisle as a shadow cast over her head and then noisily swallowed a shriek as she came face to face with a great big mountain of snow, atop which a sloping head was perched, glowing blue eyes lasered in on her. She promptly fainted. Everyone ignored that (this was a common occurrence with this particular woman) in favor of wordlessly staring at the giant, leaning as far back in their seats as they could without falling right out of them. As they watched, it wriggled it's shoulders, squeezing the rest of it's sizable body through the arch before standing proudly and stomping it's way down the aisle.

Elsa hid a giggle behind her hand. Marshmallow was actually pretty cute in his bow tie, carefully cradling the small gilded ring box in one massive claw while grinning goofily at the guests and waving his free hand over their heads and nearly causing a few more fainting spells.

The crowd had dissembled into a quiet hush, equally scared and awed by the two living snowmen.

"Is that giant snow golem wearing a tiara?"

In unison all eyes rose to the top of Marshmallow's head. The Royal Tiara of Arendelle glinted merrily in the light. Marshmallow puffed out his chest.

No one dared to comment further.

* * *

Everyone was_ staring._

Elsa knew it wasn't malicious, or even rude. But even though she had a year of practice being the center of attention as Queen, she had also become accustomed to having Anna by her side in support. Blue eyes drifted to the empty aisle, _where was Anna? Wasn't it time yet?_ Her hands started to wring together. _She wouldn't change her mind, would she?_ Her gaze continued to roam, stopping abruptly when they landed on Gerda, who fisted her hands on her hips and glared right back at her. Elsa read her expression clearly. _Stop fidgeting, stand up straight, and Princess Anna is on her way, so stop worrying you useless excuse of a fiancee!_

Okay, she may have interpreted that last part a bit liberally, Gerda was nothing but proper, but Elsa took a deep breath, squared her shoulders and resolutely tried to ignore all the gazes laid in her direction anyways.

Then the first gentle strains of music began to play, and Elsa exhaled a sigh of relief as eyes turned from her to look towards the end of the aisle, and everyone once again took to their feet.

Anna stepped out from under the the wedding arch and Elsa's breath caught in her throat. Anna was resplendent. Soft white wrapped snug around her chest leaving her freckled shoulders and collar bones daringly bare, then hugged her slim waist before billowing out in a lengthy, elegant train. The spring and summer months had given her a healthy, glowing tan, a sharp contrast to the clean ivory of her dress, and the long green stems of the crocus flowers woven into fiery red hair shaded her eyes that gentle teal Elsa loved so much.

But what truly captured her attention was Anna's mouth - curved upwards in an eager smile. For above all else Elsa desired happiness for her sister - to always ensure that smile would never fade. Their eyes met, and Anna's smile widened into a full-blown grin, and Elsa felt her lips tug upwards in return.

* * *

"_Psst, hey. Anna. Hey. Anna!"_ Kristoff barely managed to stop from rolling his eyes, then discreetly jabbed Anna in the side with his elbow. She jerked in surprise, nearly sending them to the floor in a heap.

"Hey!" Anna growled as they steadied themselves, glaring at her Man of Honor from the side of her eye.

Kristoff took another step forward, tugging Anna with him. _"You're the idiot who stopped in the middle of the aisle to gawk at your fiancee."_ He hissed through a smile as the pair resumed their walk. Anna blushed in embarrassment at that realization.

"_I was not _gawking." She defended weakly. _"I was _leering._"_ She continued sheepishly.

Kristoff rolled his eyes in amusement this time. "_Whatever you say, feisty pants."_

They reached the altar, and Kristoff helped her up before stepping back to the side. Anna threw a warm smile over her shoulder, and Kristoff gave a thumbs up in response, eliciting a small giggle.

_Thank goodness Kristoff agreed to give me away._ Anna thought. Having her friend by her side had really helped to put her at ease, his easy-going nature smoothing out her jitters. With a light heart she turned to face Elsa, and promptly froze. In the short distance since she had last looked _(leered)_ at Elsa from the aisle, the older woman had somehow grown _ten times more gorgeous._ Anna gulped, eyes wide as she drank in the entirety of Elsa's appearance up-close.

Elsa had chosen to design her own wedding gown of ice, and so was clad in shades of deep royal blue. Reminiscent of her coronation gown, the dress was high necked, complete with flowing cloak. Unlike her coronation gown, the cloak and long sleeved undershirt was made up of that intricate translucent patterned frost much like the train of her first ice dress. Anna's eyes scanned down her sister's form, lingering briefly at her hips (hmm, Elsa had such _nice_ hips), and was delighted to note that the slit of the dress rose just high enough to reveal the soft curve of her knee and a flash of alabaster thigh.

"Anna?" The soft utterance of her name was enough to snap her out of her trance and she looked up with a bashful smile.

"You look beautiful, Elsa."

Elsa blushed, hand straying to tug shyly on one of her sleeves. "You like it?" Elsa's eyes were tender and shining and so _blue, _and Anna was so unbelievably charmed at her vulnerability. She reached out to grasp her hands, heart swelling as their fingers naturally twined together, warm and intimate.

"You're the most beautiful person I know."

Elsa practically melted, words failing her. After all they had been through, after all _Elsa_ had put her through, Anna's capacity for love and forgiveness never ceased to amaze her. She tightened her grip, stepping in closer, and ducked her head to press a slow kiss to Anna's cheek, trying to pour all her love and affection and thanks into that one simple act.

"Your Majesties?"

The sisters drew back ablush, turning to face the minister.

"Are you ready?"

"I was born ready."

"Then let us begin. We are gathered here today..."

Their hands stayed clasped together.

* * *

"May I introduce to you, Queen Elsa and her wife, Queen Anna."

Kai's voice boomed boisterously, echoing off the high ceilings. Applause thundered through the air (politely, they were in the royal castle, after all) as Elsa and Anna stood at the entrance of the Great Hall. They waved elegantly at the crowd before the butler hustled them to the head of the room where their thrones waited.

Elsa led Anna to her chair, holding her hand until she was seated. "After you, my Queen," she murmured, fingertips lingering under Anna's palm.

Anna blushed prettily, scrunching her nose and laughing softly at Elsa's antics. "Thank you, _my Queen_, that's very gentlemanly of you. But you know, that's going to get confusing."

Elsa arched an eyebrow and took her seat. "It really won't."

"But if we're both the Queen, how are people supposed to tell us apart?" Anna persisted, leaning closer over the arm of her throne. "Seriously, what if I end up signing something I'm not supposed to sign? What if I accidently triple our shipment request for lutefisk and we're stuck with boatloads of smelly fish-"

"We don't trade for lutefisk, it's made in our kingdom."

"-all because some official asked for 'The Queen' to sign something and the messenger came to _me_ instead?"

"Well, I sincerely hope you'd refrain from signing anything before reading it," Elsa rejoined amusedly. "And they _can_ use our names."

Anna stilled. "Just like that? 'Queen Elsa' and 'Queen Anna?'"

"Just like that. But if you're truly worried about the details of the paperwork-" here both women rolled their eyes at that notion, "-my official title is Queen Regnant, and yours is Queen Consort."

"Consort, huh?" Anna mused. A sly grin crossed her lips. "I like it. Sounds naughty."

"Anna!"

* * *

Getting married was _exhausting._ Who knew? The actual ceremony was fine, perfect really (even though Marshmallow had almost knocked the minister out when attempting to present the rings and Sven had gotten his tongue stuck on one of the ice columns) but the banquet? Anna was sure was invented as some sort of hazing ritual to torture newlyweds. It just went on and on and _on._ There were speeches, and toasts, and some more speeches, and some more toasts, and when they finally got to the meal a veritable _line_ of people stopped by to give their congratulations. Now, Anna loved her people, and Anna loved Elsa, but she barely had five bites of food and she was _starving._ To make things worse Kristoff sat easily within her line of sight, scarfing down an overloaded plate of delicious food with the most disgusting look of bliss on his face, and Anna had half a mind to throw her shoe at him.

Which was her third source of discomfort - how on Earth did Elsa wear heels all day? She snuck a glance towards her sister, internally grumbling a bit at how composed the other woman looked. Although...

"Elsa?" Anna leaned close, voice dropped low.

"Hmm?" Elsa tilted her head slightly, still smiling and nodding along to whatever the man in front of her (was it Lord Ingen? Count Noen?) was enthusiastically ranting about.

Anna frowned, noting the stiff set of Elsa's shoulders, the stilted stretch of her smile, the barest twitch at the corner of her eye. That was enough to get her out of her seat and at Elsa's elbow, head ducked to whisper against her ear.

"You okay? Baron von Whatshisname has been raving for like ten minutes. If you need a break we can get Kristoff and Sven to start 'greeting people' for us."

Elsa chuckled, turning her attention completely to Anna and laying a fond kiss to the apple of her cheek. "Thank you, Anna, but I think if we need a break Kai or Gerda can provide a much less controversial and furniture damaging distraction."

Anna shrugged. "If you say so, but it would be _so_ much less entertaining."

The couple giggled, foreheads pressed together.

"Aw, you two are so darling! Young love, isn't it so romantic, Alle? Dear, you know better than to talk their ears off when they have only eyes for each other."

Elsa and Anna startled apart, heavy blushes rising to their cheeks, hastily talking over each other's excuses.

"My apologies for falling out of the conversation-"

"Oh, oops, sorry, I didn't mean to totally interrupt-"

A loud laugh halted their stammering as Count Alle (that's what it was!) raised his hands in capitulation. "My dear wife is correct, I shan't take up anymore of your time. Again, congratulations to you both, may your marriage be ever blessed."

Elsa cleared her throat, embarrassed. "Yes, thank you Count and Countess. If we can be half as happy as you two seem than I shall consider us lucky."

Count Alle chortled, and leaned in with a mischievous glint in his dark eyes. "Then take it from me, Your Highness, the trick is: the wife is always right." And with another belly rumbling chuckle they were off.

Anna turned to Elsa with a wide grin. "He totally has a point."

Elsa rolled her eyes. "Technically, we're _both_ wives."

* * *

"And now, Their Majesties first dance!"

Anna jumped up with an excited squeal. "Finally!"

She turned to Elsa, hand extended in invitation. Elsa grasped it with a teasing smile. "Who's the gentleman now?"

The pair stepped regally onto the open dance floor and moved gracefully into each other's arms and-_thud._ Collided not unlike a sack of carrots and an Ice Harvester's head.

"Ow!"

"Hey!"

Elsa and Anna exchanged dismayed looks.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm leading? What are _you_ doing?"

"_I'm_ leading!"

Anna glared. "But I thought you '_don't dance,'_ remember? So _I_ should lead!"

Elsa huffed. "Clearly I'm dancing now. And I _am_ taller, so shouldn't _I_ lead?"

Off to the side the band faltered and shuffled nervously before bridging back into the intro. Kristoff slapped his face in exasperation, and Kai and Gerda groaned in disbelief. _These two idiots..._

Olaf looked down at Kristoff from his perch atop Sven. "Do they not know how to dance?"

Kristoff let his hand fall heavily from his face. "Oh, they know. They both even practiced. They just never bothered to practice _together. _But it's True Love, so I'm sure they'll work it out." Kristoff finished wryly. The small group turned doubtfully back to the stand-off on the dance floor.

"I'll rock paper scissors for it with you."

Elsa's eyebrows shot up. _Tempting, but..._"No, it's fine, Anna." She stepped in smoothly, draping Anna's hand at her waist and placing her own on her sister's shoulder. "You lead."

Anna blinked, then narrowed her eyes in suspicion. "You're not saying this just because Earl of Whateveritwas said to, are you?"

Elsa smiled softly, lifting their joined hands and nudging Anna into the first step, relieved when her sister took the cue and began their waltz.

"You _are_ right, I don't really dance," she confessed. "And you _are_ much better at this than I am."

"Then why did you try to lead in the first place?" Anna brought their bodies flush together, whirling them around as the music rose.

Elsa blushed. They were _so close, _and Anna smelled _so good _and felt _so right_ in her arms. "I just, I wanted to impress you," she muttered. "I'm older, I should be more...knowledgeable at this sort of thing, you know?" She wasn't quite sure how it was possible, but inside Elsa had the distinct feeling her magic was actually _laughing_ at her.

Anna's heart flipped and she squealed internally. Elsa was just so damned _cute._ She just couldn't resist. Taking a firm grip around Elsa's waist, she raised herself on her tiptoes into a firm kiss, eagerly swallowing her lover's yelp of surprise. They parted to the ending notes of the band and a smattering of applause.

"I think you always impress me, Elsa."

Elsa smiled, breathless and dizzy with love and want. "I think I will always want to impress you, Anna."

They gazed tenderly at each other before leaning in for another lingering kiss.

"Now, unless Kai is having a fit, I think he's gesturing that it's time we mingle with the guests."

Anna made a face. "Are you absolutely sure you don't want Kristoff and Sven to do that for us?"

* * *

"Anna, do you know that woman?"

Anna blinked, craning her neck to scan the room. "Which one? The one with that ridiculous giant hat? Or the one with that dress with the hips with their own time zone? Or that one that looks like she's about to faint? You gotta be more specific Elsa, there are a lot of women here." Anna playfully nudged her wife (her _wife! _Anna felt like swooning a little herself). "If this is any indication of how communication is going to work in this relationship I think we might have a problem."

Elsa gave her a reproachful look. "The woman I was just talking to," she drily clarified. "Over there, in that - ahem - daring dark purple dress." Elsa discreetly pointed, an action that was promptly rendered moot when Anna practically twirled her entire body in the direction of her sister's finger in the most blatant of searching poses. She even shaded her eyes with one hand despite the fact that it was night, and they were indoors.

"She spoke rather familiarly to me, but I can't recall ever meeting her before..."

Anna nodded distractedly, eyes honing in on the woman in question. She frowned. Her back was to the pair, so Anna hadn't a clue to her identity. But ah! She was just starting to turn...

"...And she mentioned the most peculiar thing..."

Anna squinted. There was her profile - yes, she did look vaguely familiar, but how? Anna mentally scratched her head.

"...Something about my Ice being a novel and ingenious tool, but it wouldn't hurt to change things up a little?"

A distant memory niggled at the back of Anna's mind. She knew that woman from _somewhere._ As she stared, the mystery lady lifted her head and their gazes locked. A devious grin crossed ruby red lips. Anna's brow furrowed.

"And she said to consider her wedding gift to us a sample of what we could have come our one month anniversary."

The woman winked. Anna froze in horror. _Oh dear god, no._

"...Anna? Are you all right?"

A cool hand came up to cup her cheek, gently turning her head to face her. Worried blue eyes peered out at her, lower lip caught pensively in even white teeth. Anna's eyes dropped to Elsa's mouth - that wondrously soft, warm mouth. Those silky lips, that inquisitive tongue-Anna yelped and jerked back, feeling heat rush to her head.

"We don't need any accessories!" She blurted out. Her eyes widened when she realized what she just said. "I mean your Ice is just fine!" _Oh NO._ Now would not be a good time to panic. "Not that we need to use your powers! I mean not that that wouldn't be interesting but-no, I mean-I like your mouth!" _Why can't I ever just shut up?_ Anna wished dearly for a hole to swallow her up or a wall to bang her head against. She could hear Kristoff's uproarious laughter echoing in her mind.

Elsa blinked. "Wait, what?"

Anna was so red she was practically steaming. She resorted to chocolate.

"Hey look! It's our cake! We should totally go cut it now. Right now. This very minute."

"But Anna, what-"

"Cake!"

And with that Anna was sprinting across the room in dervish of skirts and desperation, leaving Elsa bewildered with one hand hovering extended in the air after her.

Olaf sidled up to her. "Ooo, is it time for cake? Can I have some?"

Elsa dropped her arm to look at her best man.

"Even though I don't have a stomach. Or any organs, really."

Elsa was so confused.

* * *

The cake was delicious.

* * *

As the evening stretched towards midnight Elsa could practically feel her nerves fray one by one with each passing minute. The moon rose higher and higher in the sky, and the amount of alcohol imbibed by the guests rose with it. Increasingly she found her Queenly disposition sorely tested by a barrage of ice-related puns ranging from harmlessly witty to outright debauchery. By the time a rather drunken dignitary from France had slurred a shockingly lewd insinuation about melting over heated loins (Elsa was just glad Anna's French was still spotty - language of love indeed) she had decided to call it a night. With a flick of her wrist she summoned Kai over, cupping a hand to Anna's elbow to get her attention.

"I think this party is as socially tolerable as it's going to get," she murmured softly. Anna couldn't help the small shiver that ran down her spine as Elsa's breath slipped over the shell of her ear. Her cheeks began to burn in embarrassment as her mind immediately leapt to what activities would follow when they left the banquet. She was a bit mortified at how quick her brain was to fantasize sordid _tête-à-têtes_ (her French was not nearly as bad as she'd led her sister to believe) involving Elsa and the nearest available sturdy surface, but people had been dropping hints and secretive winks her direction all night. She was pretty sure at one point someone had called her the "Conquerer of the Snow Queen." She could hardly be blamed for looking forward to her wedding night.

She cleared her throat, willing her face to cool and tried not to sound _too_ eager. "Yeah, some of the guests are getting a bit...enthusiastic."

The couple watched as a group of grown men drunkenly enacted the scene when Anna had punched Hans over the railing of a boat with encouraging cheers from their equally soused peers. There were cries of _"It's True Love!"_ interspersed from the crowd, and Anna was just sure Kristoff was to blame for that little nugget getting out to the public.

"What can I do for you, Your Majesties?" Elsa and Anna turned to Kai, fond smiles on their lips.

"Kai, I told you there's no need to be so formal with just us talking," Anna scolded. "You and Gerda are family."

Kai beamed at them. "Humbled as we are that you see us in such a favorable light, please allow us our habits." His eyes shone with affection. "We are so _very_ proud of the rulers you have grown to be, it is a source of pride to address you as such."

Anna pouted, but Elsa nodded her acceptance. "Thank you, Kai."

The head butler sniffed, pulling a handkerchief to dab at his eyes. "Now, what was it you needed?"

"Ah, yes. We were thinking it was about time to take our leave." Elsa's hand came up to wave generally over the hall. "There is no need to end the party, but Anna and I have decided to retire for the evening."

Kai raised an eyebrow. Elsa blushed horribly. "It's-it's been a long day!" She defended.

"Of course, Your Highness."

"We're tired!"

"Absolutely."

"There are still duties to attend to tomorrow as well!"

"There'll be no argument from me."

Elsa lapsed into silence, blush glowing bright and high on her cheeks. Anna snickered behind her hand. At least she knew she wasn't the only one thinking salacious thoughts.

Kai tried his best to stifle his laughter. "I'll just make the announcement then."

Elsa just nodded, too embarrassed to speak.

* * *

"Finally!" Anna plopped onto their bed, kicking off her heels. "If I'd have known announcing our departure was going to get everyone all riled up for last goodbyes and well wishes I would've suggested we sneak out."

Elsa chuckled at her wife, waving her hand and dissolving the long mantle from her shoulders. Anna glared jealously at the motion.

"It's not fair," she whined, "it's so easy for you to undress, but this thing took like five people to put on." She tugged petulantly at one of the stays of her corset. Elsa shook her head fondly, moving to Anna's side and turning her where she sat on the bed.

"It's a good thing I'm here then, isn't it?" She murmured, hands making quick work on the laces. As the corset loosened her mind caught up with her actions and she could feel her heart stutter and body still as the corset slipped open, revealing a swath of smooth tan skin. Icy blue eyes roamed over the freckles sprinkled across Anna's shoulders and back, and Elsa's mouth dried as muscles shifted under silky skin. She gulped, taking in the image of Anna on _their_ bed, dress pooled to her waist, copper strands dangling tantalizingly across the slim column of her neck.

A vision.

Her magic sang in her veins with want and possession, and before she knew it she was pressing in close, cupping her wife's jaw and tilting her head up and around in a fierce kiss. A guttural moan rumbled out, and with a twist Anna fell on her back, clutching at Elsa's waist and dragging her down to the bed with her. With a breathless gasp they parted, and Anna shivered at the look in her lover's eyes - large dark pupils ringed with the lightest blue. Her body ached for Elsa - her mouth, her hands, her touch.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

* * *

"This one is from 'Madame Deilig's - The One Stop Shop For Women.'" Elsa gently placed the card to the side, but just as she tugged the ribbon from the box, heard some rather violent rustling followed by the fading pitter-pattering of frantic footsteps. She looked up to catch a glimpse of bright copper hair trailing out the door.

"Anna? Where are you going? You were the one who wanted to open all the gifts today."

Elsa waited a beat, shrugging when her wife failed to reappear. _How odd,_ she mused, lifting the lid and turning her attention back towards the box. _What could have possibly sent her off in such a hu-_

The lid dropped from suddenly frozen fingers with a thump. A cold wind gusted through the open window. A rooster crowed in the distance.

...

...

"..._**ANNA!**__"_

_Fin_

AN: I totally stole that staring/leering exchange from Friends. And many thanks to all those lovely reviewers/followers/favs, especially Baku babe, who recommended this fic on tumblr, and practically exploded the fic view count overnight. You're awesome.


	3. Then Comes The Baby?

Title: A Case Of Selective Obliviousness: Then Comes The Baby In The Baby Carriage?

By: garlic

Disclaimer: Frozen and affiliated property of Disney

Summary: In which magic is afoot, and Elsa and Anna get a very unexpected surprise.

AN: Last installment. (For realsies this time.) Let's be honest. Who _didn't_ see this one coming? You know you've been immersed in fanfiction for a long time when "magical gay lady babies" barely registers any surprise. This is full of the fluffiest fluff I think I could ever fluff, so be ready to roll your eyes. TW: Elsanna/Icest. And groping. Anna gets a little randy. Hormones, man.

* * *

It was an unusual thing for Anna to be ill. Much less sick for so many days in a row.

Elsa chewed her bottom lip with worry. "You really don't look well. I think we should call in the physician."

Anna waved her off with a careless pass of her hand. "I'm fine. Just something I ate didn't agree with me, that's all."

"But-"

"Elsa, I know you worry, but it's really nothing." Anna stepped in close, reaching up to cup her wife's face in her hands. She gazed reassuringly into troubled blue eyes. "Now go do Queenly stuff, I'm heading to the kitchens."

Elsa was still unsure, but nodded her acceptance. She pressed forward, laying a light kiss to Anna's brow. "Will you still meet me for lunch?" She murmured, letting their embrace linger.

"Of course," Anna chuckled. "Now off you go." With a soft push Elsa was headed out the door, but not without one last concerned look over her shoulder. Anna shook her head in amusement before completely losing her good cheer as the motion turned her stomach once more.

"Ugh, maybe I'll skip the kitchen."

In the end Anna's nausea failed to abate, and she finally conceded to having the Royal Physician come in for a check-up.

And after a series of poking and prodding and terribly invasive questions ("Seriously, do you really need to know that?") the doctor sat down across from her with a quiet grave expression on his face.

Anna fidgeted restlessly, knuckles tapping together, tucking her hair behind her ear, smoothing out her dress. _What could it be? Oh god, I'm not dying, am I? Oh no, what if-_

"Well, it appears you're pregnant."

"_I'M __**WHAT?!**__"_

* * *

"You're _WHAT__?!_"

Elsa stared slack-jawed at her wife, and under any other circumstance Anna would have found that expression hilarious.

"Um, surprise?"

Elsa continue to gape, mind blank. The room chilled considerably. Anna waved a hand in front of her wife's face, but she was - ironically - frozen stiff. She shrugged.

"I know, right? Shocking news for me too."

Elsa blinked _(progress! Anna cheered)_ and her gaze dropped. Anna followed her eye line to her stomach. She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.

"You can stare all you want, there's nothing there to see yet."

Elsa made a strangled sound.

"And it is yours, just to make things perfectly clear."

At that Elsa snapped out of stupor, head jerking up to meet her wife's eyes. "No! Of course! I would never-!"

Anna chuckled at Elsa's panic as her sister frantically waved her hands about. She reached out her own, catching the flailing limbs and draping them on her shoulders, pulling her in close.

"I know," Anna teased. "But it did get your attention."

Elsa stared down in wonder, eyes once again zeroing in on Anna's belly. Her arms slid down to her hips, thumbs softly massaging her sides. "You're really pregnant?" She hushed, voice heavy with awe. "But how?"

Anna shrugged. "How does anything in our lives happen? Magic and True Love. Probably."

Blue eyes returned hesitantly to teal. "And you're okay? It...it doesn't hurt or feel weird or-"

Anna hushed her, knowing immediately where Elsa was getting at. "I'm fine. Your magic isn't hurting me." She stretched to give Elsa a reassuring kiss. "It's given us the best gift in the world."

Elsa smiled shyly.

Anna nudged her. "And even your magic knows it." Eyes drifted upwards, where large light fluffy flakes swirled playfully in the warm air.

Elsa sniffed, cuddling protectively around around her wife _(and future child!)._

"Well, a head's up would have been appreciated."

* * *

"You're _what?!_"

Anna rolled her eyes. Okay sure, a woman getting another woman pregnant was pretty much unheard of, but these reactions were getting a bit tiring.

"Yes I'm pregnant, yes Elsa is the father, no this is not some sugar created delusion brought on by too much chocolate."

Kristoff shut his jaw with an audible click. He squinted. Crossed his arms over his thick chest and looked searchingly up at the sky as if it held all the answers to the universe. A long minute passed before the burly blond looked back down at Anna.

"Can't you guys ever do anything _normally?_"

Anna huffed. "How _rude!_ I thought you were a 'love expert,'" she mocked, curling her fingers in taunting air quotes. "You should have expected this kind of thing! At least Sven is supportive, right Sven?" She turned to the reindeer.

Sven stared blankly at her, muzzle agape, half eaten carrot forgotten on the ground. Anna stomped her foot petulantly. "Not you too!"

* * *

Considering there was a lack of physicians well-versed in magical pregnancies, the Queens opted to make the trip out to the Valley of the Living Rock to consult with the only other magical beings they knew.

Sven's enthusiastic towing and Anna's newfound nausea combined with Elsa's overprotective nature made for a very uncomfortable ride, and it was with great relief that they reached their destination and disembarked.

And were immediately set upon by Kristoff's...enthusiastic family.

"Oh look, Kristoff's back!"

"Kristoff!"

The Official Royal Ice Deliverer of Arendelle was promptly buried under a pile of wriggling rocks.

Elsa looked on amazed, arms wrapped guardedly around her wife. "Well, they certainly are...affectionate."

Anna giggled, snuggling into Elsa's embrace as Kristoff struggled out from under the familial rockslide. Her soft laughter attracted the attention of the other trolls, who eagerly started rolling her way.

"Why, Princess Anna! So good of you to come!"

"No no no, she's the Queen now! Queen Anna!"

"Queen Anna!"

"You look lovely as ever!"

"Have you gained weight?"

Just as they were about converge on the wide-eyed redhead Kristoff managed to free himself enough to shout out a warning.

"Wait! Don't just jump all over her! She's pregnant!"

"Pregnant?!" The stony horde came to a screeching halt. A cadre of horrified eyes turned as one back to Kristoff.

"How could you!"

"She's a married woman!"

"Queen Elsa put a ring on it!"

Kristoff raised his hands in defense, backing away quickly. "Whoa, hey, hey! It isn't mine!"

A gasp from the assembled trolls.

"Kristoff Bjorgman! How dare you! You take responsibility for what you've done!"

"We raised you better than that!"

"Hey!" Kristoff yelled, affronted. "I'm saying that _Elsa's_ the father!"

The trolls quieted, and several dozen eyes blinked in unison before turning like a well-oiled machine to stare at the woman in question. Elsa recoiled slightly, ducking to hide behind Anna, much to the redhead's amusement.

"Ooooohhhhhh." They chorused.

Anna smiled. "Yes, and we were hoping to talk to Grand Pabbie. Since this is clearly the work of magic, and he's the magic expert in the area."

Bulda nodded, waddling over to grasp Anna's hand. "Of course dears! Come this way, have a seat! You shouldn't be standing around in your condition!"

Anna cheerily followed, leaving Elsa behind to fend for herself. Large curious eyes honed in on the platinum blond. She shifted nervously under their stares, fingers coming up to fiddle at the ends of her braid.

"So you're the one Anna married instead of Kristoff?"

Elsa blinked at the young troll who had stepped closer to her. "Um...yes, that would be me?"

"I bet it's 'cuz you don't tinkle in the woods."

Elsa's jaw dropped. Kristoff reddened. "HEY!"

And with that the family descended into a cacophony of teasing and shouting and trolls being tossed in the air. It was to this rather chaotic scene that Pabbie made his entrance.

He rolled up to the Queens (Elsa had escaped to Anna's side the moment Sven came galloping into the fray to aid Kristoff), unfurling himself with rumbling grace.

"Your Majesties, a pleasure to see you again. What brings you all the way out here?"

Anna and Elsa exchanged a glance. "Well...there's been an unexpected...development."

A bushy, mossy eyebrow raised. "And it has to do with...magic perhaps?"

The sisters nodded.

"And maybe just a dash of True Love?"

Bulda popped up. "Anna's pregnant!"

Pabbie's other brow rose. "Is that so? Congratulations to you both."

Twin blushes rose on fair cheeks. "Thank you."

"Now, I'm assuming this isn't just a visit to inform us of these happy tidings."

Elsa cleared her throat delicately. "About the pregnancy, we just wanted to make sure everything was okay." Anna reached over to clasp their hands together, squeezing reassuringly. She turned to the Troll Elder.

"We're sure it's fine. After all Elsa's magic is just as wonderful as she is."

Elsa blushed shyly, cradling their joined hands gratefully.

"But it would be nice to know, well, exactly how this all happened." Anna continued, waving her free hand vaguely up and down her body.

Pabbie pondered, stony eyebrows furrowing in consideration. He shuffled closer to Anna, hovering gentle hands over her stomach. With a hum a soft glow lit the air, and Elsa watched fascinated. The last time she had witnessed the Troll's magic she was so young and terrified, her worry for Anna eclipsed all else. Now she could feel the gentle tug deep in her soul as her own magic responded to the Pabbie's, prickling under her skin and chilling the air.

She was on the verge of releasing a flurry of snow above their heads when Pabbie sighed and stepped away, magic fading. Elsa felt her own powers settle, placid and cool.

"Well, Your Majesties..." Pabbie gravely intoned, "It appears that your pregnancy is indeed the result of..."

Everyone held their breath.

"True Love."

Everyone deflated. Anna rolled her eyes. "We _know_ that! Geez, this was _so_ anti-climactic." She squinted at Pabbie. "You know, sooner or later there's bound to be something that can't be explained away by 'True Love.'"

Grand Pabbie shrugged. "Today is not that day."

* * *

"Councillors, there is one last issue to discuss."

The room turned their attention to their Queen Regnant, highly interested. It wasn't often their monarchs broached subjects not listed in their itinerary, and there had been no more items on today's list.

"About the issue of heirs-"

"Ah! Your Majesties have decided to start the adoption process?"

"No, we have not-"

"It would be best to get on this as soon as possible-"

"No, that's not really necessary-"

"-after all these things take time-"

"We are not adopting-"

"-and there is a lot of paperwork to go through-"

"ANNA IS PREGNANT!"

Silence reigned.

"So Your Majesties went with a surrogate then?"

"What? No!"

"Because no offense, Your Excellency, you should have run this past the council first-"

"This wasn't planned!"

"-there are non-disclosure contracts to think of-"

"I'M THE FATHER!"

Silence once again took the throne. It was getting quite comfortable there. A chicken squawked in the distance.

"But Your Majesty, you're a woman."

"I am aware."

"As is Queen Anna."

"If I recall, you all didn't seem to have an issue with this particular detail before."

"..."

"..."

"...So it was True Love then?"

"And a bit of magic, apparently."

"Ahhh." A murmur of understanding sounds and a flurry of nodding heads made it's rounds around the council chamber. And not for the first time Elsa marveled at the apparent ease her cabinet had with accepting the most bizarre of occurrences.

"So what shall you name the babe then?"

Immediately suggestions flew from every corner of the room.

"Certainly after Their Majesties' parents!"

"Yes, Agdar if a boy, Idunn if a girl!"

"I disagree! King Agdar had always planned for 'Leif' in the instance of a son!"

"Or perhaps Sigurd or Ingeborg? A strong traditional name from our forefathers!"

"Posh, the lot of you! This is a new child for a new era! They ought to have a name reflecting that, not some old dowdy name from a bunch of dead fogies!"

The council dissolved into a raucous argument, slinging baby names and insults at each other in an ironically childish display of immaturity.

Elsa buried her head in her hands with a groan.

* * *

Things had been going relatively smoothly so of course something was bound to happen.

The first alarming incident occurred not a week later, as yet another meeting was adjourning. Councilman Kløne had stepped up to Anna when suddenly a chill blasted through the room, sending clothes flapping and paperwork awhirl.

Gasps of shock and surprise erupted, and when the freezing wind died down and all the loose papers settled the unfortunate Councillor was stiff and silent, covered in a thin layer of fresh rime. He blinked ice-coated brows in astonishment at Anna, who gaped back equally confused, and as one they turned their heads towards Elsa.

The Queen Regnant was bewildered herself, blue eyes wide. Frost radiated in jagged patterns upon the floor, but aside from that and the Councilman the rest of the room was free of ice. Finally the Head Councillor tentatively broke the silence.

"Um, Your Majesty?"

With a start Elsa hurried forward. "I'm so sorry Councillor Kløne! I didn't mean-I don't know what came over me!" She began to wave her hand to dismiss the rime but with a jerk Kløne backed away, icicles comically swaying from his nose.

"No! It was completely my fault, Your Majesty! I should not have approached Queen Anna so closely! Forgive my impudence!"

The Queens gaped as the Councilman bowed contritely, and with a sneeze and a sniffle bid them farewell and retreated from the room. The rest of the the cabinet watched in silence, but the moment Kløne's frost-covered derriere was out the door a roar of laughter burst out, rippling through room.

"Hah! I guess it's a lesson learned well today, eh?"

"Poor chap, he'll have time to reflect on his actions with a nice long soak in the tub!"

And with many amused goodbye chuckles the room emptied. Anna and Elsa glanced wordlessly at one another. Anna arched a challenging eyebrow. "And that was...?"

Elsa blushed in embarrassment. "I-I don't know. He just was suddenly so _close_ to you and I-it just...happened." She gave a weak shrug.

Apparently, not only was Elsa's magic fertile, it was also bit over protective.

* * *

Three months into the pregnancy and Anna had never felt worse. She was tired and sore and headache-y and everything seemed to set her temper off. In fact, word of her newly reduced fuse had spread swiftly throughout the castle and it seemed that single every servant had taken to carrying stashes of chocolate covered pickles (gross, but worth the end result) on their person, ready to to assuage her wrath.

Anna would have felt a bit guilty about that, except the treats were _so_ delicious.

In fact, the only person who hadn't seemed to get the message was none other than the Queen Regnant, arguably the one person who _ought_ to have known. And was reaping the consequences of her ignorance. And thus...

Elsa stared forlornly at Kai and Gerda.

"I did something wrong, but I don't know what I did wrong, and now Anna's making me sleep in another room."

Kai and Gerda exchanged knowing glances.

Gerda pat Elsa consolingly on the back. "These things happen, dear."

"Indeed," Kai intoned solemnly, though the twinkle in his eye betrayed him. "All one can do now is beg for forgiveness and wait for mercy."

"But-!"

Kai and Gerda firmly laid their hands upon Elsa's shoulders, holding eye contact with laser-like intensity. She gulped.

"Apologize. Then wait."

"It wouldn't hurt to bring her some chocolate pastries and tell her she's pretty, too."

Elsa didn't think she was prepared for this pregnancy at all.

* * *

By the end of the month word of Anna's pregnancy had begun to spread beyond the castle walls, and ever so engaged with the relationship between Queens and Country, another survey was quickly conducted to measure how well the people were receiving _more_ magical, True Love-related news.

In the local tavern:

"Well ain't that a kicker! Did'ya hear that Drukkenbolt? Queen Elsa's gone and gotten Queen Anna pregnant! Who would have put odds on that one, eh? Three cheers for Her Majesty's virility!"

Madame Deilig's One Stop Shop For Women:

"Well that's one thing our extensive collection couldn't do! But may I interest _you_ in anything? Fun for you and a loved one. I can make some recommendations."

At the Church of Arendelle:

"Well, it's really not more unbelievable than a virgin getting with child."

At the local elementary school:

"You see, when two women love each other very much, and one of them has magical powers, sometimes a magical baby is magically conceived."

"That doesn't explain anything, Mrs. Lærer."

"...Ask your parents."

The Kingdom of Arendelle was made up of hardy, unfaze-able folk.

* * *

As Anna entered her second trimester her morning sickness fell away, replaced with an almost tangible glow of happy contentment. Her figure had filled out, growing notably plumper about her hips and breasts (and Elsa noticed, oh how she noticed). And as the weeks passed the slope of her belly curved into a gentle bump, which a delighted Queen Regnant (as well as an enthusiastic animated snowman) took to placing her palms upon as often as possible.

The doctor had given her a clean bill of health, and he and Gerda (and Madame Deilig through another missive and yet another gift box) had advised her to enjoy this particular stage of pregnancy. So Anna and Elsa spent as much time relaxing and enjoying each other's company, often going out into the town to visit their subjects. Thankfully Elsa had her magic's hair-trigger possessiveness under tight control at this point and refrained from freezing every single person that touched her wife. Because that happy couple was also expecting and just excited to be sharing the same experience, and that small innocent child was only curious and for god's sake _do not frost the kindly old lady trying to give Anna a beautiful bouquet of flowers!_ Sometimes Elsa felt her magic was just ridiculous.

Anna glanced surreptitiously at her wife, who was glaring icy daggers at anyone who came within a few feet of her (including the friendly cat who purred and begged for a belly rub). She rolled teal eyes. Elsa was just so ridiculous sometimes.

* * *

It was about the sixth month when Elsa was truly tested.

"Your Majesty?"

Elsa let out a rather unqueenly snort, jerking her head up from where she had been face planting on top of a pile of trade correspondences from Corona.

"Huh? What-wait, where?" The tousled blond head swayed, gazing confusedly around the room before landing on the blurry figures of her Head Maid and Butler.

"Are you all right?"

Elsa blinked blearily, hand coming up to rub at gritty eyes. She stared pitifully at Kai and Gerda.

"Anna, she-she keeps...I can't...she's insatiable! I'm so _tired._"

Kai and Gerda exchanged smirks.

"These things happen, Your Majesty."

Elsa frowned, and was about to reply when she was interrupted by her death knell.

"Elsaaa!"

A high sweet angelic voice rang though the hall. Horror dawned in the blond's haggard expression. Elsa turned towards Kai and Gerda, desperation in her eyes.

"No!" She whimpered pathetically. "You have to help me! Distract her! Hide me! Anything!" Elsa cast her gaze frantically about the room. Footsteps echoed ever closer to the study, a merry whistled tune set as her background music to doom.

"Surely there must be some secret passageway hidden around here!" Tugging aside a wall tapestry yielded...a wall. Elsa growled and kicked it petulantly. "What kind of castle is this?!"

Kai and Gerda shook silently with laughter, quickly sobering as Anna reached the study in a flurry of good cheer.

"Els-oh! Kai, Gerda, I wasn't expecting to see you here!"

"We were just leaving, Your Majesty."

Elsa reached out in a silent plea, betrayal writ all over her face. _No! You can't leave me here alone with this...this...beast!_

Alas, the Head Butler and Maid did not heed her and slipped out, shutting the door firmly and with finality. Elsa saw her last hope snuffed. She was trapped.

She stiffened as warm arms slipped around her waist in iron shackles. A soft, curvy form pressed intimately at her back like stones. Lips traced burning kisses down her neck before biting down possessively at the junction of her shoulder. She could feel a grin shape devious and wide on her skin, and a hand trailed teasingly down her arm before grasping her wrist in a vise grip, bringing it back behind her and placed commandingly on a soft thigh. Elsa whimpered.

"_Elsa."_ A soft whisper at her jaw. The hand at her wrist guided her higher.

"_Elsa..."_ Hot breath tickled over her ear. Her hand slid to stop, engulfed in heat and wet and _want_.

With a moan Elsa conceded, whirling around to catch Anna in a bruising kiss, pushing her atop her desk and scattering papers to the floor.

Another whole day gone with hardly any work done or sleep had, but Elsa knew she would succumb again tomorrow. Who was she to dismiss orders from her Queen?

* * *

As Anna began her third trimester fatigue had really started to set in. Her stomach had rounded, settling large and heavy (and directly on her bladder, she was constantly going to the restroom). But as tired and sore as she felt, she was nonetheless content. Their little baby was growing strong, active and kicking, and no amount of discomfort could take away the joy at seeing Elsa cuddle close to her belly, love turning her eyes soft and tender.

They spent their nights like this, reclined on their bed together as Elsa sung quiet lullabies and Anna read adventurous fairy tales.

Things had never felt so peaceful.

* * *

"PUSH!"

"AARRGHHH!"

Elsa quailed in the hallway, fretting at the shouts echoing through the heavy oak door. Kai sighed.

"Your Majesty, perhaps you'd feel better if you were by Queen Anna's side-"

Elsa started to pace again, lip worried raw between her teeth. "But, according to tradition..."

Another cry of pain had Elsa flinching. Her hands wrung, and the temperature in the hall dropped even lower. "According to tradition, I should stay out of the birthing room."

Kai eyed the windows, where frost had begun to crystallize in the corners, spreading in crackling lines along the edges.

"With all due respect, Your Excellency, I don't think tradition is really an issue here."

Elsa looked up, wane and pale. "But-but still..." Blue eyes darted to the door, down to her hands, and over to the window. "I don't think it's a good idea," she whispered, voice tight with apprehension.

Kai grimaced. _She _had _noticed the ice._ "Queen Elsa-_Elsa._" The butler gently caught his charge around the shoulders, bringing her to a halt. He stared meaningfully into her eyes. "You will be fine, Anna will be fine. The baby will be fine. And you should be with her."

Elsa gazed worriedly back. "But-"

"WHERE THE HELL IS MY WIFE?!"

Elsa and Kai jumped in surprise at the hoarse bellow. They stared fearfully at the door.

"I think she means for you to go in." Kai whispered out of the corner of his mouth.

Elsa nodded meekly and with one last hesitant glance at the frosted window panes went to her wife.

Kai breathed a sigh of relief as the door shut behind her. Only to have his wits scared out of him a second time as a cheery voice piped up from behind him.

"Oh hey! Is the baby here yet? There was a lot of screaming."

The butler gasped for breath, clutching at his heart as he turned to face the snowman. "Sir Olaf! The baby is on the way. I'm sure he or she shall arrive soon."

Olaf waved his arms about in excitement. "Ooohh, how thrilling! Do you think they'll let me hold 'em?"

Kai eyed the twigs that made up the snowman's arms. "Er, we'll just ask Queen Elsa and Anna about that later, shall we?"

Olaf nodded happily, and plopped down right there in the hallway, wiggling his legs to and fro. "I wonder if the baby will look like me and Marshmallow? Wouldn't that be great?"

Kai didn't have the heart to correct him.

* * *

Anna cradled the newborn in her arms, utterly enchanted with the tiny bundle. _She_ made this, her and Elsa _together_, this perfect little rosy _life._

A pale hand reached to wipe at the tiny soft chin. "She's drooling. She's just like her mother."

Anna rolled her eyes and brought her hand to swat reprovingly at her wife. _Right, as soon as the birth is over you've stopped being a total wreck and are cool as a cucumber._

Elsa chuckled, catching her hand and bringing it up to lay an adoring kiss to her palm. "She's perfect," she murmured, bending to drop another kiss against wispy strawberry blond hair. "Just like her mother."

Anna snorted, but couldn't do anything about the blush that rose readily to her cheeks. "You smooth-talker. Don't think that'll get you out of changing diapers." She returned her gaze to her baby, running a gentle finger over a pillow soft cheek. "She really is perfect, isn't she," she whispered. She felt the bed dip as Elsa sat, arm slipping comfortably behind her shoulder. They leaned into each other, temples pressed together as they gazed at the start of their new family.

"Have you thought of a name?" Elsa cooed, fingers soothingly rubbing the baby's belly as the tiny face scrunched and let out a little yawn. _So adorable!_ The Queens internally squealed.

"Asta."

Elsa turned to Anna, meeting warm teal eyes. "Asta." With smile she swooped in for long tender kiss, humming happily when they parted. Asta wriggled sleepily between them.

"Perfect."

_Love, indeed._

Days passed, and the streets of Arendelle were alive with celebration and merriment. The safe birth of the royal baby was the talk of the kingdom, and the Queens were inundated with congratulatory letters and gifts from their people. But it was when the busy days faded into night that Elsa felt truly blessed.

She gazed down at her wife and child, feeling so full of love and pride she might burst. For as wondrous as Anna had always claimed Elsa's powers were, she was sure that this little miracle was the most beautiful thing her magic could have ever created.

As if hearing her thoughts sleepy blue eyes blinked open, looking up at her with unconditional trust. And before Elsa knew it magic was racing through her veins, hand out and palm up, aglow with a bright blue aura that shot up in a dazzle of light, exploding in a firework of soft snow.

Asta giggled, waving chubby little arms in excitement, then squealed in laughter as Elsa dove down to give her a cold eskimo kiss. She felt tiny hands come up to slap uncoordinately at her face, and then a shift in the mattress as warm arms wrapped around her waist, tugging her fully onto the bed and into a solid embrace.

"The sky is not awake, so neither should you two be." Anna's sleepy voice teased. Elsa smothered a grin against Asta's cheek, cuddling closer and eliciting another happy giggle from the infant. She felt a kiss brush the crown of her head and her child settle down into sleep. Tucked into this fond embrace with the two she loved most in the world, Elsa couldn't feel happier. She vowed to treasure every moment.

Until puberty. She'd let Anna handle that.

_Fin._

AN: You do not know how much I love Madame Deilig. I have a whole headcanon for her. She's the most sexually progressive person in the whole kingdom, and loves to help people enjoy their sex lives. Women from all social classes secretly visit her all the time for tips and general fun conversation. Four for you, Madame Deilig. Also, Asta means "love," for those of you who are wondering. And again, many many thanks to everyone who reviewed/faved/followed.


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